Last week this story broke out of the Metro Atlanta area and was carried on news and blogs across the nation.

A Gwinnett County man is in custody accused of slapping a stranger’s crying toddler in a Stone Mountain Wal-Mart on Monday. Sonya Mathews, the mother of the 2-year-old child, told police that both were walking in the aisles of the Rockbridge Road store when Roger Stephens, 61, approached and said “if you don’t shut that baby up, I will shut her up for you,” according to a police report.

This morning Roger Stephens, the accused baby slapper, waived his bond hearing and opted to stay in jail for now.  According to Jennifer Leslie (twitter.com/jleslie11alive) from 11Alive News in Atlanta, Stephens court appointed attorney said Stephens is too poor to post bond.

The Flip Side

I understand why Mr. Stephens wanted to slap the child.  I can’t count the number of times that I’ve been shopping, in the airport or (the worst) on an airplane near a crying or screaming toddler.  I’ve wanted to slap hundreds of children and their parents.  However, I have enough sense to know that I have no authority over another person’s child, especially a stranger’s.

I don’t know what Mr. Stephens was thinking but I bet he’ll think next time – if there is a next time.  He has been charged with a felony:  cruelty to children.  If convicted, Mr. Stephens could spend a long time in jail.  If he is fortunate enough to get probation, I don’t think he will accost any more crying children.

What Would You Have Done?

I went to a wedding on Saturday and my table had a discussion about this while we were waiting for the bridal party to arrive at the reception.  Overwhelmingly, the mothers and fathers at the table had the same response.  “If that had been my child, I probably would have gone to jail too.”

I’m really glad that I was not the parent or grandparent involved in that situation.  I know for a fact that a can of green beans or a bottle of milk would have been upside that man’s head before I had time to think about it.  For all those people out there who say violence is not the way to solve a problem.  I agree.  But in this case,  it would have been quite satisfying!

This time Nichole sent her own card.  According to Nichole, she told Anita that she would buy her own card this year and send it to Fred.  When the card came, it was signed: “From your first and favorite (shh . . . don’t tell the other one).” Unfortunately for Anita, she didn’t see the card until Sunday.  According to Anita, Nichole was supposed to send a card from both of them.  I don’t know if they had a failure to communicate, or if Nikki was getting even with Anita for Mother’s Day.

HOWEVER, not to be outdone, Anita was in charge of getting their joint gift.  You guessed it, Anita said the gift was from her, then she asked Fred, “What did your other daughter (the trifling one) get you for Father’s Day?”

As a side note:  my gift to Fred was control of the big screen tv and the remote control for the entire day.  So it was golf all day long.

Fred and I have two daughters who, like many other children, are as different as night and day.  They are Anita and Nichole also known as Nita and Nikki.  Although they are seven years apart they are very close, but when it comes to special occasions and holidays, you wouldn’t know it.  They (really Nita) are so competitive.

I am an only child, so sibling rivalry was foreign to me.  I never had to share any of my toys or anything else.  No one wore my clothes and I always had my own room.  I did not have to compete for my parents or god-parents attention because I was the one and only.  So I am always amused at the rivalry between these girls.

Mother’s Day 2009

Anita lives in Atlanta and Nichole lives in Philadelphia.  On holidays, birthdays, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, Nichole sends money to Anita to buy gifts for me and my husband.  She also allows Anita to pick out a card for us; and that is where the hilarity begins.

On Mothers day Anita’s card said:

Front of Card:  Happy Mother’s Day from me!  You know, the Smart one!

Inside:  And the cute one, and the witty one, and the charming one . . . it’s not like there was much competition.

The card Anita got for Nichole said:

Front of Card:  Mom, you are the prize in the cereal box of life.

Inside:  Or so I imagine.  We didn’t get any prizes in that healthy crap you fed us.  Happy Mother’s Day.

Of course, I knew the deal and it was hilarious.  I called Nikki and told her, “I don’t know why you allow Nita to buy cards for you.”  Then I read her the card.  Nikki said I can’t believe Nita did that, oh it’s on now!”

I don’t know why Nikki can’t believe Nita did that because she’s been doing it for years.  I can’t wait to see what kind of card Fred will get for Father’s Day.

In Atlanta on Easter Sunday afternoon, there was a tragic accident that took the lives of 5 people – 3 children, 2 adults – and injured another adult.  It was a hit and run.  When I first heard about the accident I was outraged as I imagined some irresponsible, heartless, drunken driver fleeing the scene of the accident.   I watched the news as they described the car and its damages.  I watched as the police went house to house, garage to garage looking for the beige BMW that was involved in the accident.

Finally on day 10, after an anonymous tip, the police find the car and they find their man.  But wait, the man is 22 year old Aimee Michael, a recent college graduate whose life was just beginning.  I’m still outraged at her actions but my opinion begins to soften.  As I learn more about Aimee, my thoughts swing back and forth like a pendulum.  Suddenly I see my two daughters and I imagine how scared and confused they might have been if placed in the same situation.  But just as suddenly I see myself and their dad telling them to turn themselves in.

Aimee’s age is right between what I call “young and dumb” and “responsible adult.”  Her parents, however, should have been responsible adults and made Aimee turn herself in, no matter how afraid she was.  Now the one bad decision to flee the scene of an accident is compounded by another bad decision to hide.

It’s easy to sit back and watch people’s lives play out.  We do that every day.  We watch TV and listen to the radio.  We blog and we tweet.  We watch people’s successes and failures; we watch them make mistakes.

Aimee did a terrible thing.  I feel bad for her but I feel worse for the families of the five people who died.  There’s no happy ending here, just a sad regrettable situation and the lives of three families that will never be the same.

This Van De Kamp commercial that features a little girl who berates her mother for giving her minced fish is not cute and it is not funny.  That little brat should be glad that her mother feeds her.  Little blondie-locks does not have a job and contributes nothing toward the grocery bill.  If she doesn’t want minced fish, she doesn’t have to eat.  Guess what?  If she get hungry enough she’ll eat whatever her mom puts on the table.

There’s a line in the Goldie Hawn movie, Deceived where Goldie Hawn is trying to retrieve a very valuable necklace that her child mistakenly gave a friend.  The mother of the friend doesn’t want to upset her child by asking her to give the necklace back.  After much banter back and forth, Goldie Hawn takes the necklace from the child and says, “Who’s the parent here?” That’s what I want to know – Who’s the parent here?  Will the real parents please stand up?

No child has the right to speak to their parent that way and no parent should tolerate it.  It’s not funny and I wish advertisers would choose another route to market products.  Children don’t have to be rude to be funny.

I am sick and tired of rude, disrespectful children.  About a month ago I was trying to find a funny video with children to feature on my blog.  Most of what I found were smart-mouth, cussing kids whose parents thought it was funny.  I wonder how funny it’s going to be when little smarty mouth gets put out of school for being disrespectful to the teacher or cussing at the principle?

Conceiving and giving birth does not make a parent.  Parents have a responsibility to nurture and teach their children.  Let’s go back to the old days and teach our children some manners.