The Underlying Tragedy

It is tragic that so many people were killed and wounded at Fort Hood.  It is and was an unthinkable crime.  Our soldiers should be safe on their own home base.  Equally tragic is that this soldier’s name is Hasan.  The wife of an army officer told ABC’s news correspondent, Martha Raddatz, that “I wish his name was Smith.”  Some people think that was an irrelevant statement, but I disagree.

I think this is a tragedy within a tragedy.  If Hasan’s name was Smith would it make the victims of the shooting any less dead or wounded?  No.  But it wouldn’t bring back the fears and anxiety of 911.  If his name was Smith, it wouldn’t stress people out to be around Muslims or people who look like Muslims.  It is my hope that this man’s name will not cause us to fear people of Middle-eastern descent.

Should I fear or treat my neighbor differently because he is middle eastern?  No, he’s a nice guy who has lived next door to me for 3 years.  He is the same guy today that he was yesterday.  The problem with Nidal Hasan is that people didn’t really know who he was.

Unanswered Questions

There is so much we don’t know about Mr. Hasan.  We don’t know the what or the why.  Unfortunately for me, I am a big fan of Vince Flynn and Tom Clancy novels.  My first thought was, “Is this man a sleeper?”  I don’t know, but I hope that before it’s all over, we’ll find out.  Quite frankly, my imagination is running wild and I look forward to answered questions.

Pray for Our Soldiers

It is not enough to pray for the families of the soldiers who were killed or wounded.  This tragedy is far more reaching.  This event affects everyone assigned to that base – every soldier, every military family and every civilian.  It also affects every military person who wants to feel safe at home.

Restaurant Wars.  Undoubtedly, one of the most anticipated episodes in any season of Top Chef.  This year’s episode was especially intriguing for me because my favorite chefs were evenly divided on opposing teams.  Team 1: Jennifer, Kevin, Michael I. and Laurine.  Team 2:  Bryan V., Michael V, Robin and Eli.  Quite frankly, the teams were evenly matched.

Several weeks ago I was locked on my favorite chefs:  Jennifer, Kevin, Bryan V. and Michael V.  I think they are the most talented chefs and believe one of them will win Season 6.  My two personal favorites are Jennifer and Kevin.  For several episodes, many of the chefs underestimated Jennifer who is extremely talented and has mad skills.

Going into this episode, I just assumed that Robin, Michael I. or Laurine would be eliminated.  Never in my wildest dreams would I have expected Jennifer or Kevin to be on the chopping block.  Then again, who would have guessed that both of them would make such bad decisions and screw up both of their dishes.  I was stunned.

Front of the House

Eli did a great job as front of the house.  He was engaging and efficient.  Eli readily described dishes that were served to each customer.  Service seemed to run very smoothly.  Eli was in control.

On the other hand, Laurine lost focus and became flustered.  Her front of the house efforts left much to be desired.  Customers and judges had to ask Laurine to describe their dishes and service was slow.

The Food

There was no contest in the execution of food.  Hands down, Team 2 served superior dishes, including two outstanding desserts.  Team 1 had numerous problems:  food was over cooked, under cooked, falling apart and no dessert.  Team 1 didn’t have a chance, but it was their own fault.  They were overly ambitious and never appointed a leader in the kitchen.

Pack Your Knives and Go

Jennifer, Kevin and Laurine were the prime candidates for elimination on Team 1; however, it fell on Laurine.  Ultimately I believe she shot herself in the foot because of her early statement to the judges:  no food would come out of their kitchen that wasn’t right.  A lot of poorly executed food came out of that kitchen.

Food for Thought

I think there was an additional reason Laurine was eliminated.  Even though Top Chef says that only dishes from the current episode are considered for elimination, I don’t think the show wanted to eliminate one of their strongest chefs this early in the game.  Michael was pretty safe so other than Laurine, that would leave Jennifer or Kevin, both of whom prepared very poorly executed dishes.  And, both of whom are two of the most talented chefs this season.

Sorry Laurine.

Just the title of this documentary makes me cringe but I went to see it anyway .  It’s a good movie that takes a humorous look at a subject that has long been taboo in the African American community.  I’m so glad Chris’ daughter asked the simple question, “Daddy, why don’t I have good hair?”  We (African Americans) never talk about this topic in mixed race settings.  Now it’s out there for the whole world to discuss.  In the documentary, he brings out the good, the bad and the ugly.

I was somewhat disappointed that the documentary does not discuss natural hair.  Most of the discussion is about weaves and relaxer.

The Good

Just bringing up this subject and taking an in-depth look at natural hair vs relaxed hair vs weaves.  The movie gives at least a modicum of understanding to why black women don’t want men to touch their artificially enhanced hair (my term not Chris’).  Most black men already understand why most black women don’t want their hair to get wet.  With the rise in mixed race relationships, it’s more than time for this “good hair/bad hair” discussion to come out of the closet.

The Bad

I was totally unaware of the cost of getting a good weave.  Some of the stylists who were interviewed charge $1,000 for the weave – the hair is extra.  One of the stylist lets her customers put their weave on lay-away.  We are not talking about women who make lots of money, we’re talking about women who are students, school teachers and other low to middle income jobs.

Even though I’ve been a black woman all of my life, I never spent a lot of money at the hair salon.  When my hair was relaxed, I went to the salon every six weeks to get my relaxer touched up; got a hair cut every three weeks and styled my own hair in between.

The Ugly

Mothers are taking toddlers to the salon to get relaxers.  Need I say more?

For more than 50 years I’ve listened to people point out the kids with “good hair” aka hair that is straight or wavy.  It’s hard to believe that a race of people still place so much value on the length and texture of hair.

My Hair

As a young child I wore plaits just like every other little girl in the community.  From my  pre-teen years until age 17 my hair was pressed with a straightening comb.  At age 17 I went natural and wore an afro until I was in my mid-twenties.  For at least 25 years I relaxed my hair.  Not necessarily because I thought it was more beautiful relaxed but because of my career and my husband’s career in corporate America.  He was an account manager for a Fortune 500 company and I was an executive assistant for the same.  I don’t know about now, but then natural hair styles were seen as radical or militant and could be a hindrance to your career and your spouses career.

Side note about hair and careers:  S. Epatha Merkerson, Lieutenant Anita Van Buren on Law and Order wears a wig on the television show.  In real life she wears her hair natural.  Also, Judge Maybelline, the former judge from Divorce Court had a dispute with the shows producers about her hair.

Two years ago when menopause hit and hot flashes took over, my hair was out of control.  My solution – I cut it all off and went natural.  Not only is it less maintenance, but it’s much cheaper and less time consuming for me to go to the barber shop and get a hair cut.  I don’t care if it’s humid outside or if I get caught in the rain.  My hair is wash and go.  It’s short, neat and cheap.  I’m finally free of caring how other people categorize me or my hair.

Not Joke Appropriate

I realize that David Letterman is a comedian and he has made a very good living writing for and producing comedies.  He is quite adept at making jokes and poking fun at people and situations.  However, the infidelity issues surrounding Letterman and his staff are not joke appropriate – at least not by him.   Here’s my problem with Letterman and this whole scenario:

Infidelity is not a joke and it’s certainly not funny to the spouse.  While Letterman was doing his routine about the women on his staff with whom he had sex, I’m sure his wife was embarrassed and hurt.  At first it was said that Letterman was not married when these office affairs happened and that may or may not be so; however, he has been in a relationship with Regina Lasko for more than 20 years, so at the very least he’s a cheater.

Sex with the boss raises all sorts of red flags and questions. Was it really consensual?  Was it sexual harassment?  Were any of the women worried about losing their jobs before, during or after their affairs?  Were any of the women involved given undeserved raises, bonuses or promotions as a result of being intimate with Letterman.

That Lame Public Apology to His Wife

I don’t know what kind of apology Letterman made to his wife in the privacy of their home.  But, the public apology he made was lame, pathetic and unconvincing.  There are several problems with his so called apology:

1. What woman wants a public apology between jokes.  Where’s the sincerity (real or not), where’s the contrition?
2. The first two minutes of his “apology” was directed to his staff.   Letterman said it never occurred to him that his staff would be brow beaten and humiliated about his behavior.  Why was it important for him to apologize to the staff first?  Are they more important than his wife?
3. The second apology, the one to his wife, was all of 26 seconds: “She has been horribly hurt by my behavior, and when something happens like that, if you hurt a person and it’s your responsibility, you try to fix it.”  That’s it?  That kind of groveling won’t get him far.  If he thought it was cold at home before this public apology, I’ll bet he had a reality check when he got home after the apology.  His apologies illustrate where his priorities are.

I am well aware that this whole thing is supposed to be about the extortion.  But just like a movie, sometimes the side story is more interesting than the main story.  It is apparent to me that Letterman has little to no respect for women, especially his wife.  His public apology comes off as an after thought.  Dave has a lot to learn about women.

Since the last time I was here, Harborside has discontinued any free wireless.  They now charge $15 per day for Internet use, either wireless or through a LAN line with a discount for multiple days.  There were several things I wanted to do online:

1. Start setting up a new blog for an Internet store that I recently started.
2. Communicate with my husband via e-mail
3. Keep up with the Atlanta flood situation via Twitter and Facebook

So, since I don’t drink or gamble and didn’t have my handsome husband to take me out to a fancy dinner, I paid my money, logged onto the Internet and immediately had some problems: I could receive incoming email through Outlook but could not send; I tried to send from my Yahoo account and that didn’t work either; I could not log into Facebook and Twitter thought I was a robot.  So I called IT for help .

You Know You’re In Trouble When . . .

You know you’re in trouble when you explain your problems to the IT person and they ask “What’s Twitter?”  This is why I pointed out where I am staying.  Atlantis is one of, if not THE premiere hotel/resort properties in the Bahamas.  How can they have IT people who don’t know what Twitter is?  I was aghast, and literally sitting on the phone with my mouth open.  I told the person, “If you don’t know what it is, I can’t explain it.”

Long story short, I am able to receive incoming email through Outlook, I can log onto Facebook and Twitter but I still cannot send email through Outlook.  To communicate with my husband, I send a direct message through Facebook.  I’ve been communicating with my daughter via Twitter.

Why Is It Important for Me To Use the Internet?

1. International phone calls are very expensive
2. I am a caregiver for my god-sister.  She is 82 years old and has dementia and limited physical abilities.  I NEED a vacation from the stress and emotional drain from caregiving.  My husband stayed at home to take care of Gladys, my oldest daughter flew to Atlanta to help out the first 3 days (bathing and dressing); I hired a caregiver to bathe and dress Gladys for the next 4 days and my youngest daughter will go to the house to get her ready for bed.  But I still needed a way to communicate with them just in case.
3. I live the the Atlanta area that was most affected by the recent floods and a lot of my friends were affected.  I want to keep up with what’s going on.
4. AND It’s just hard for me to disconnect from my computer

All that said, I still can’t receive e-mail and at least one of their IT people still doesn’t know what Twitter is – INcredible.  BTW, the IT people came to my room to try to get my email straightened out – TWO of them.  Still not working.

If you vacation at Atlantis and bring your lap top, I hope you have a back-up plan.