Are you part of a large family that likes to hug and you don’t? Do you cringe because your fellow church members want to hug everybody? Do your family, friends and complete strangers try to convince you that there is something wrong with you because a handshake is enough? If so, you are not alone.
In case you’re wondering, HDD is not a real term. I made it up a few years ago as a joke. BUT, the premise is real – no hugs please! Why is it so difficult for people to understand that I don’t want their hugs? People seem to think that just because they like to hug everyone, that everyone else wants to be hugged too. Not so!
I know other people who don’t invite hugging, and they especially don’t want strangers and casual acquaintances to hug them. These same people don’t want to offend others by denying their hugs. I don’t have a problem telling people that I don’t want to hug or be hugged. I have a problem with people who say, “I know you don’t like to be hugged but I’m going to hug you anyway? WHAT! I absolutely hate that because it says to me, “I don’t care what you want, I just care what I want.”
What if I invited those same people to dinner and said, “I know you don’t like spinach but that’s what we’re having.” Would they be offended because I gave them something I knew they didn’t want? Would they eat the spinach just because I wanted them to or would they politely leave it on the plate?
Hugging is a wonderful thing if you like it and invite it. I just wish people would respect the wishes of those of us with HDD. And by the way, I’m not trying to be cured. I like me just the way I am!
The definition of deficit according to dictionary.com is:
1. a lack or shortage; deficiency.
2.. a disadvantage, impairment, or handicap: The team’s major deficit is its poor pitching.
According to your blog you are saying there is nothing wrong with a person who does not like hugs and that’s fine but your self proclaimed disorder contradicts your position. A defict would mean you are not getting enough hugs, that you are at a disadvantage and this disorder is a form of handicap to you.
Ms Valerie you have Nohugatitis….meaning you do not want unwelcomed hugs – it is not a disorder it is a dislike…but for the record when Iwas preganant last year, I was hugging people and greeting them..I came to you and said – oh my bad..you do not like hugs..and you said, “you can hug me….so if nobody else in DWC gets a hug from Valerie Johnson…I am going to tell the world…TYESA LYNETTE SMITH DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Hey Ty,
Only you would take this as a literal definition. I did say I made it up.
As to the suggestion that I said you can hug me, if I recall correctly, I ALLOWED you to hug me under the duress of a pregnant woman having a conniption fit!
I feel exactly the same as you. Thank you. I don’t like hugging. However, it reads in a very wrong way at church, when I take a step back. Thank you for the post. I am researching this tonight.