Today is my birthday and I am thinking back over my life and taking a look at where I am today.
What Would I Change
I often hear people talk about what they would change if they could go back in time. I’ve given some thought to that question and I keep coming up with the same answer – Nothing. Just like everyone else, I’ve had good and bad moments in my life. I’ve made some bad decisions and done some things that I regret, however, I wouldn’t change a thing. All of the decisions I’ve made, both good and bad, and things that I regret have molded me into the person that I am.
Of course, I still have flaws but I like who I am. I know I should exercise and eat better and that’s a flaw I’m working on. I know that I have some strange and quirky ways that other people don’t like, but I can live with that. I can’t please everyone.
My Husband and Children
I have a wonderful husband. He’s not perfect but he’s still wonderful. We’ve had our ups and downs over the past 37 years – the last 21 have been more up than down. I wouldn’t trade him for anything or anyone. Together we have raised two daughters who turned out really well. They had normal teenage problems (80′s normal not 2009 normal) but did not cause any major problems. They both have post graduate degrees, AND, hallelujah, they support themselves and live in their own homes.
On Being Over 50
When I turned 50 AARP sent me all of their sign-up information. Unlike some people who allow AARP to define them, I signed up and took advantage of all of the discounts they offer. Fifty didn’t mean old, it meant discounts. When I turned 55, the Golden Members at church, wanted me to join in and participate in their activities. I declined. I have no interest in spending one Saturday a month doing “crafts” and hanging out with a group of older people. That’s fine if it’s what you want to do but I prefer to hang out with a mixed age group. I find that 30 and 40 year olds challenge my thinking.
On Curve Balls
Years ago, Fred and I mapped out a plan. When he was 55 we would sell our house and downsize to a condo or townhouse. We did that. When he turned 58, he would take early retirement and work part-time with kids and we would travel. That didn’t work out. At 55 he was given early retirement when his department was sold to another company. His pension was significantly less than it would have been at 58 but such is life. Last year my hours and salary were cut in half.
On Being a Caregiver
Even though having my salary cut in half is somewhat of a financial burden, it has worked out because a few months later I became a caregiver for my 82 year old god-sister. I had no idea how much time and energy is involved in caregiving and even though Gladys is an adult, taking care of her is like taking care of a toddler. My main concern with being Gladys’ caregiver is that my mother is almost 80 and I don’t know how much longer she will be able to live on her own; and my mom takes care of her 82 year old sister. I’m an only child so that causes much concern.
No Regrets
Even though money is tight right now, I have no regrets. Because Fred was so frugal and a great saver, our children finished college debt free. Fred and I have lived well and enjoyed a lot of things over the years. We have visited at least half of the states in the United States, the Bahamas, Italy, Turkey, Greece, Israel, St John’s Island, Venezuela, Martinique, Trinidad and Saint Lucia. We have skied in Aspen and played golf in Maui. We celebrated our 25th anniversary at the Windows of the World Restaurant in the North Tower of the World Trade Center; and we have been to many first run plays on Broadway.
I shared this information to encourage you to do two things: 1) save for the future and 2) enjoy life while you can. Don’t put it off until you retire. Ten years ago, Fred was very ill. He was in the hospital for two weeks, and recovering at home another four weeks. One day while Fred was at the hospital having an MRI, I met a woman who was in her seventies. Her husband was there for tests also. She told me how they had saved all of their money and had never taken a trip because they were going to buy an RV and travel the U.S. when the husband retired. Two weeks after he retired he had a massive stroke. They never got to travel and had spent all of their savings on hospital bills. Tomorrow is not promised. With the state of the economy and our current financial state, I am so glad we enjoyed traveling when we could.
What’s Next
I enjoy blogging and hope to eventually make money with my blogs. Believe it or not, I would also like to open a retail store. I don’t have any money, but I am looking into sources of funding. I am also taking online courses offered by the SBA to help train start-up businesses. I still have some good years left. If I can get this business started, I will turn it over to my daughters. Hopefully by then, I will have several locations.
I have never managed a retail store but I have worked retail, done a lot of selling on e-bay and have an online store. I think I’ll do fine.
So, these are my reflections today – Happy birthday to me!
Why yes, Happy Birthday to you Valerie!! There are definitely some lessons learned and pearls of wisdom in your reflections. I chuckled at your notion of AARP being about discounts; even though I’m nowhere near 50 (or 55, whatever the magic age is), I received mail from them last year that suggested that I join and my first reaction was “um, this clearly isn’t meant for me”…now I’ll just adopt your perspective and look forward to the discounts!!
I also appreciate the need to “do it now” and not wait. We all say that tomorrow isn’t promised but I wonder how many of us really believe and understand the magnitude of that statement.
Enjoyed the read!
Pam – thank you for the birthday sentiment. The conversation I had with that lady had quite an impact on my way of thinking. Fortunately, Fred and I were well into our travels, etc. by the time I spoke with her. But it gave real meaning to “tomorrow is not promised.”